Just WHERE DOES a Forty Four Pound Cat Sleep? HUH?

Answer: Any Friggin' where it can drag it's corpulent ass to, collapse from carrying around ALL of that LARD and then pass out from exhaustion.



I have it on GOOD authority that the feline in question is on the run from a murder charge. Yes, friends and readers a MURDER charge.



It happened like this. The feline murder suspect has been accused of killing and eating at least three of it's neighbors over a two year period. NOT only that, he also killed the neighbors rotweiler and dragged it off into the bushes and dined on it for several days.



This is no ORDINARY feline, OH NO! This is actually a DREADED SPACE CAT. I knew it would happen, first the DREADED MARS MONKEYS and now the DREADED INVADING SPACE CAT.



Eons ago, CATatonia, the Iron Pawed leader of the DREADED LEGION OF INVADING SPACE CATS decreed that the Famed and Infamous Pussillanimous Planet would rule the galaxy, since then, it has been reported that they have overtaken no other planets because they're just too damn fat!

Weight problem with getting their DREADED INVADING SPACE vehicles out of the litter boxes!



So, the indolent, surly, insubordinate, so self contained residents of the Famed and Infamous Pussillanimous Planet have just laid around the litter box and feed bowls and JUST stared at the sky above.



However, the Joisey cat that is NOW being wrongfully hailed as a 'poor lost soul' was once a svelte three pounds and was blasted out into space by his faithful sidekick George with the aid of UGA XII a nasty, vicious, wrongfully imprisoned, English Bulldog, kidnapped by a horde of DREADED MARS MONKEYS that invaded Athens, Georgia, and a very,very.very large rubber band!



A week later the Joisey cat landed in Voorhees NJ, and you know what happened in Jersey back in the thirties dontcha? the Martians invaded us then,!well, anyway, the oh so cutesy poo feline wormed his way into the hearts and mind of a now devoured human family and has been on a murderous rampage ever since.



I keep telling you, it's a conspiracy! DREADED MARS MONKEYS! DREADED INVADING SPACE CATS, MARTIANS IN THE THIRTIES, GEORGE BUSH IN OFFICE WITH IS FAITHFUL SIDEKICK, GOOD OLD 'SHOOT 'EM IN THE FACE' DICK CHENEY!

Where's it all going to end?

I can tell you, right here, right now! Regis and Kathy Lee are going to emerge as mind controlled(NOT that THERE IS much mind to control) minions of the DREADED INVADING SPACE CATS and THEY ARE going to lead our country down a path of destructive inanity and silliness...Mark my words! It's coming and...OH NOOOOOOOO! Here comes a DREADED INVADING SPACE REPUBLICAN! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!

DISCLAIMER!

Any resemblance to persons or dreaded space invaders now living or dead is purely a coinkydink! I just report the facts as I make them up and I absolutely refuse to give up any of my sources...SO THERE!