I have been FOUND OUT!

I suppose it's up to me to APOLOGIZE, right here, right now. You see, for years now I have been dreaming of worldwide conquest! Yes, worldwide conquest! and I could not find any others that wanted to venture into this with me, because of their fear of treachery down the road, which I can readily say that I do NOT blame those that I have approached.



But then I hit on what seemed like a foolproof plan, I would enlist the aid of the much maligned garden gnomes that all of you well meaning, but also insensitive types seem to get a kick oput of placing in your underworked, underfed, jungle like gardens.



Let me tell you right here, Garden Gnomes DO have their dignity, they are NOT like that simpering sell out, the Travelocity gnome and seek recognition and publicity...no sir...garden gnomes are shy, retirng and for the most part extremely dignified.





Anyway, the GBI(Gnome Bureau of Investigation)came knocking last night. After removing the three hundred gnomes that I had carefully and comfortably stashed away, behind a wall of leakng oil drums, and from the midst of numerous oil stains, dirty rags, pesticides, fertilizer and several broken down lawn mowers, I was told to issue an apolgy for my definite antisocial leanings.



So, "Are you remorseful Moon Rabbit?" you ask. IN a word...NO! Had I been given a decent interval of time I would have transformed this collection of polyurethane, fiberglass and concrete beings into the mightiest army of conquest that the entire gardening world had never seen before. We would have ruled the world in all of our glory, we would have terra formed this entire planet and made miraculous changes in the way you people pot your plants!



But NOOOO! Somebody had to go snitch me out!



I'm going to get even, you can rest assured of that...Just this morning I have managed to recruit (5) five...count 'em...lawn flamingoes to my cause. Soon, the pink wave of doom will roll across this world. Then you'll see I'm NOT just some ordinary gnome napper or flamingo filcher.



Remember, the pink wave of doom is coming! Wait for it, make sure the wifey and the little rugrats are safe from this onslaught!



Gee, I hope little Bobby the paper boy didn't catch on to my recruit